The syndrome of Utopia and the Illusion of Control

With this delivery finished Discuss Obstacles for Change, here I am presenting a summary of the topics covered so far.
1 .- Analysis is paralysis,
2 .- If the problem is complex, then the solution must be also,
3 .- When we lock it and it is difficult to see the output,
4 .- The Common Sense,

And

The syndrome utopia and the illusion of control

We all draw goals in life, especially when we made the decision to change, however after some time, we realize that such changes have not occurred and we wonder who has passed. Maybe we overestimated our ability and we have not identified what we want sincerely, we are unwittingly creating some obstacles that are supposed to produce what we want: change, certainly, depending on what we want to change, it said Watzlawick as "striving to reach the unreachable, we do not what would be achievable. "

The utopia syndrome arises from the persecution of a total happiness and the desire to achieve unrealistic objectives and absolute, the fact pose a target for change in vague terms, and unreal only begets global solutions that will create more problems. For example, consider the objective of our personal growth change our personality, is not an achievable goal, this is a myth, because our personality does not change, the dominant features of our personality is our essence, because as we grow we become more of what we already are.
As for the illusion of control occurs when the change does not depend on us, albeit unwittingly create the opposite because we assume that the circumstances and considerations of control. A typical example is the person who cree that his problem will be resolved if it "switch" to another or even better if the other person changes by itself.
The example of nostalgic husband who wants his wife back to be the same as before "love" towards him so that he can change and reconcile with her. Or if the selfless mother who declares that could only be successful if it were his daughter.
These considerations control unilateral stem from the belief that the threat, blackmail, pressure or force the falling in love are the only means to be respected, to make other changes or lastly to establish order once and for all It's as well as open doors for extreme solutions to the exercise of violence.

"Prayer of a Man in Motion"

Sir, Give me the courage to change things which can be changed, give me strength to accept those who can not be changed. But above all, give me the wisdom to distinguish from each other.